Never have I known a leader worse than you.

Right now I have zero, ZERO confidence to play on the field anymore, not because I'm intimidated or afraid of you and your words thus don't want to embarrass myself, but your constant drilling of negativity into my mind which causes me to quiver and break under pressure. Not only must I worry about the oncoming opponents ready to break my leg, I have to worry of where how when who to pass to, on top of that, every EVERY single time i get the ball, sometimes even before or i don't even get the ball. I can hear my surname ring through the air like a siren discouraging me and unnerving my confidence by a square root. Talk about me first aye, my control passing vision and what not, everything about soccer in me, GONE, because I trained under you for 2 months+, you don't build players, you destroy them. Never have I dreaded a match. Even at sec 1 i looked forward to playing against the sec 4. Now I can't even bother to play against the weakest team in our group. Really, please don't play me. Firstly I have no clue what to do on the field now. What you tell me to do, you reprimand me even though i do it. And if i improvise and do my own things, i get scolded. like wth. For 2 months i've put up with this. 2mro shall be the last day. Never before i misplace a pass let alone miss the ball so thanks. Now everytime i touch the ball or hit it. I sweat, not cuz of fatigue, but bcuz i worry, that i don't execute it well. More importantly, I am not having fun at all, and to me, that was what soccer was about. You've drained every last bit of joy i had in soccer and turned it to living hell. I've played soccer for 8-9 years already and manage to earn some reputation and credit with everyone I play with, and in 2 months, it all came crashing down. Usually i would take on a player face to face, man to man. 2 or 3 was not a problem. Now, as soon as i get the ball, i want it off of me immediately, I don't even want to receive the ball at times. SEE the drastic change. And all that i've said, is shared amongst the team members as i've discussed this with them. Seriously you suck and fail as a coach man. At times I just wanna say SHUT UP AND LET ME PLAY! Like how i do to many of my friends before, which produces results. But you're the one in charge of who goes to a div and have exco positions so as what my gp teacher told me, i have to learn to deal with people. I tried, real hard to, and next time you say that to me, i'm gna flip.

Why keep you're trust in me when I don't have trust in myself anymore.

So that's that. I still have loads of complaints, loads of resentment i've kept inside. for now. Fareez says im a whooss to not stand my case, and at times i shamefully agree, but i know it was because I respected you as I have to everyone since I was taught to do so, but dayum producing this results, I don't think you deserve shit of a respect from anyone, me included. So that's that.

After 2mro's match which i'm still dreading, I'm gna retire, retire from field football until an undetermined time. Going back to my roots of street soccer and build on from there. Whether i'm coming back to field i'm not sure, but surely with this team now, I highly doubt so. The people here, the friends i made, are awesome beyond words, but when it comes down to football, when it comes down to it, i feel that we're on a different wavelength. If i ever do go back to the field, I'll do it with KFC, where fun is compulsory. (: Let again, after what that fktard nordin has done for me in field soccer, I may not contribute as well, but hey gna hang up my boots for now and leave the field scene.

Lastly, expectations. Self expectations were let down, but i know the reason why so i'm not too bothered, i know i gave my best to try to adapt.

But maybe more importantly, expectations people have of me, friends especially soccer friends. Only they know what i'm capable of and i feel i've let them down. Thankfully I have great friends who said they're behind me no matter what, so thanks you guys, really kept me going. For now, let's just have fun, bcuz for 3 months now, 3 months of street hiatus, I miss it, for soccer = my life (: WOO

P/s: Hey, i just need a coach who believes in me, us. And thankfully, I've surrounded myself with friends who do, thanks guys (: