11 more months before next break... gna pia all the way 1 last final time man

studyyyyy for the last time seems fun ><

But yeah this past 2 months has been so freaking awesome i'm speechless...

especially the past 2-3 weeks with 4F'10.... good good memories while reminiscing the old at the same time.... hope we remain as bonded and close as ever and all the drama to stop plzxz!

But can be fun at times too ahh~! hahaha! I bet my awesome memory base for past events would rmb all that happened as proven time and again so no need for post! :)

Let's just say, we had a wonderful wonderful time, a great run and spell of fun haha. esp. the "camps".. Really reminds me of the song "Brat Pack"... ahh... wtv ppl outside might say, it's pointless cause dey don't know how much fun we're having! hahaaa!

But yeahh great way to start my months of mugging ><"".... so gna catch up and keep in contact to those i hold dear to me after a lvls end man... can't wait! :)

Anyways, couldnt find the lyrics to this awesome song online so i typed it out:

To those people who actually bother to read my blog but blardy hell won't tag to tell me.. :(

Here's

I'ts been almost been a year... and i'm glad things turned out the way it did. :)

Realised i've at least gotta update cause of my birthday bah....

Spent it at class chalet @ changi!! Fun ahh but tiring ahhh BBQ-ing of awesome marshmallows ftw!! :P

Anyways post promos+pw has been awesome, like really. The past few weeks have been the greatest this year and a real enlightening gift, reward for an extremely stressful and tiring year.

Been spending time with those who really matter around me and having a great great time :)

However, there is still some people i know, who i really wanna hang out but it comes with difficulties i guess...

4F really rawks ahhh cant take itt~!!! Every moment spent with them is joy itself ;)) Can't wait for MBS man... :D

s16 growing closer and closer by the day and i know when we do split, we'll be bros for life. But right now, the class who has the most fun yet produces ok results! What more can you ask from a JC class :)

The clique or what's it's called, thanks for celebrating my birthday tgt with me, it was a real treat seeing and catching up with you guys once more :)

As mr lim told me before, as we grow older, it'll be inevitable that we lose touch with our friends, but those who mean the world to you, you'll make an effort to ensure otherwise. Well i can really feel the loss of friends gah... TK is full of so many awesome people i just wanna keep in contact with all of them however impossible... :/

But i do regret this, my CCA, NCC sea. Best CCA and platoon mates i could ever ask for. As a part D ps, i was tasked to keep everyone tgt... But since we parted ways for a year, i find that extremely hard to do so. Balancing my time with studies and this is near impossible especially with a direct split that half of us went JC and the other poly... It almost seems unfated, but i wanna try to rekindle it all man... Bros, seaman, for life. I needa spend more time with these peeps man.... OUTING DINNER SOON! BUFFET IS A MUST! :D Cuz everytime we meet up for these, words of no end would be at the dinner table, a fun fun experience everytime. Looking forward to it!! :)

Ok short update over!! Thanks all for your wishes and presents! :))

The best present i've received by far, is that i got back a friend, a dear dear friend.... :')

So many bdays have passed.... Huixun Yuanyi Sarah YunShawn... wayyy wayyy behind on my card making liao lolol!

Zhukang's next fri too! Gahh.

Anyways promos was... satisfactory.... Headed on form full of steam, through the middle totally sianed out, but really really hope i don't screw any of my papers too badly such that i fail... :/ If not really is super sian hais. But 1 more month! shouldn't think of it now!!!

Had buffets and Jumbo the past 4 days and yet i still fail to gain weight... i guess im just gna pia exercise le.. :/Ordered my new boots from shenhao le! Den gna get 1 more and my mum says that's my bday present liao. oh wellz! :/

Hmm... this post shouldnt be demoralsing... it should be like.

PROMOSS ARE FINALLLYYY FREAKING OVERRRR!!!! YAYAYAYAYYA YESSHHHHHHHHH!!!! MUGGED AND STUDIED LIKE A NERD BOSS WITH NO LIFE NOW CAN LEPAK GO CRAZY LEEEE!!! :):):):)

Life rawks ah.

Time to catchup catchup with life, frens, gossips le! Went out with kt damien jj on weds! The awesome Part D'10 on thurs and camped over during fri! Oh and lepaked in town with S16 on fri~~ Shiokkk :) Really stings to regret being in TPJ hai.... :/ OH WELLLL!! Time to catchup with the others soon! :) IMM ROCKETEERR LET'S FLYYYYYYYYYYY

P/S: Pw and Chinese are such buzz killers.

Decide to update this awesome blog of mine hoping that no1 patronise it anymore.

Anyways start from results!

SA did ok cept 1 disappointing aspect.

Maths D, Econs E Phy U Chem C

The disappointment is the obvious one... but yea pulled myself together and scored relatively alright for CAs...

Maths A Econs B Phy A Chem A...

Well i guess i should be quite happy with my results my truth be told im just okok bah given the school im in.. :/

Furthermore, it's now more pressurising to score high marks than low marks.

Expectations by teachers.... now that i've met them, 3As and 1 B, I expected to retain them.

Then from classmates and friends, disbelief is most of what i got, followed by taunts and what nots.

Really wanna just rant in their faces, sorry that im working hard, paying attention, doing my work, studying, trying to get somewhere despite my slim chances, sorry that you're so dumb to realise that whatever fun you're having now is short lived and i seriously worry about your future more than you worry about yours. Can't u give a guy some credit at least. Yes, score A liao can talk big cuz you're so dumb to do the same.

That's another reason why i'm somewhat to share my results now... maybe only to those that i feel would get "IT" or maybe ask me.

I've sacrificed a great deal to reach where i've been and i'm still not sure if it's enough given promos is looming ahead. I just don't want to experience that day once again when i received by O lvl cert. To know i can do so much SOO much better, that i have the potential to do so but did not. That has always been my pushing factor all these months and even if i do screw up, i want to at least know i've given it my all in trying to achieve it so i wont regret it anymore. That's something i'm seriously guilty of, not giving my all, 100% where it counts or not. Studies, soccer, r/s, every part of my life; and i decided i should change it starting from my studies. 35 more days get it over and done with...

I've learnt to really mug, you must take away your social life and to take that away would lead to major depression and social awkwardness. But what is one to do hai. 35 more days and it'll be high time to party!! But till then, focuz.

Studies aside, took a breather and went to paramore concert with the gang which i've not been out with for a long time now along with ananta and yanjie. Surprisingly they're nice friendly lame ppl lols. Anyways it was a fresh experience, a new one being part of the "mob". For instance pulling ppl off the floor really made me feel like a hero, furthermore 3 lolz. It's little things like this that makes it more worth it than the music. Had an awesome high time and great time catching up. It's really been awhile since i got together with the usuals but i dare say i expected this to happen when i chose the JC life.

In recent weeks, my fondness for 11s16 have grow exponentially, well in certain cases, despite the growing worry that we might disband. And im not suppose to help them? Are u kidding me? hais. But yeah have made some interesting friends, people who i doubt i'll see in the TK culture which gives me a peek into the "outside" world. And damn was TK awesome.

VICTORIA KATE GOH (Mentioned u le k!) , You ah... don't know what to do with you man and you leave me seriously loss for words at times.

Oh wellz let fate decide on the outcome of our class in 35 days time bah.

I feel like i'm living day by day with no rhyme or reason, no plan or goal except the promos. I'm given a compass but no map to follow. Living each day as if it's the last seems to extreme to explain but then again priorities are set, and i've to look at the big picture i guess....

What's worse? no coke for 30 days... doubt i'll last.

Looking back at where we've come, i'm don't know if i should be disappointed it ended this way or elated we still have sth between us. Then again there's nothing much i can do about it except to hope for the best i guess, but i do think about those times then and again and reminisce them in solitude. Oh well, story of my life, complicated.

Up next are probably 3 people who've either deeply impacted my life or part of it for so long i might seem to have taken it for granted. To huixun, sarah and shawn. Happy birthday in advance hope i manage to make something memorable for each one of you guys.

Hate the feeling where i had so many things to blog about but once i get around doing so, all of it disappears. Oh well, till promos, 35 days, doubt i'll be blogging soon. Maybe shall start a formspring to entertain myself.

Message to self:

Words below are just to motivate myself and not cuz i'm bhb

Don't be freaking complacent cause it's only CAs

Econs 13/25 D

Maths 17/25 B
Physics 29/42 B

Chemistry 16/20 A

Chinese 66% B

That's... 63.75/90 for A level's!

Passed everything(:

1 mark to next grade for 3 subs.

Not to be proud but damn could've done better.

Though CA is supposedly the easiest to score, I don't want my grades to drop!

Lowest I shall go is 50/90... considering maybe the standard of tpjc not that good also... AHHH T.T

Stressed out ttm man studying after school every day nowz.. :/

Ok, most days. :X Hahaha

Somehow, my... passion for soccer is no long there dammit :(

Also good thing bah, would rather study then soccer now, unlike previous times.

Anyways it's only 2 years, after this den I pia back seriously, now cannot be complacent.

Still not top 5%.

Tiring much hai shall take a break today :p

Anyways... life... is quite alright i guess..

over the past few months of JC life, spoke to friends of other JCs which I coincidentally met... had a great time talking to them... Miss tk so much hais.

Oh wellz! :/

Catching up with people is great funz lol.

And I can't say I'm not enjoying the 4 day weeks recently. More relaxed and able to concentrate better haha. Hope PAP implements this though highly unlikely :P

Next week also 4 day week. The week after also, Vesak day.

Oh well Life's alright for now i guess. Contented, the way it should be. Despite many shortcomings, what's more i can do lols.

So needa more effective study partners hahaha. *hints* lalaa

3 months in only.... almost 1/4 the way there... priorities priorities hehz.

jy me lols.

Anyways to properly reward myself went seoul garden on friday! Wooo makan until so shiok. Flound out Yuanyi and Shannon both can't eat alot de haha. Next time buffet don't eat with them :P

Could've eaten somemore but they had to rush off for movie and i joined 11s16 peeps at peace centre..

COD for an hour movie heading to bugis to watch FF5! Awesome hell of a show man that!! Won't mind watching it again..

Speaking of which... ff5 hais... $5.... must state here to remind me that yy owes me one! Haha. yeah anyways. That's about it tata

Top GP with... 27/50. Go figure. LOL But yeap! Was super confident after the paper so glad it paid off... so needa improve though :/

Maths short A by 1 mark.. but yeah. Needa practise more.. NO TIME! Urghh...

Passed econs! 13/25 lolol. 3rd in class. Go figure again. First was 15 haha.

Seriously stressed man! JC life like wtffnnb!!!! No wonder u get B considered top few le for all subs.. hmmz... Needa work harder hai...

Chem test was kinda easy, don't expect myself to fail so yay!

Phy test this friday... omfggg arghhhh the 1 im most stressed about.. Hope i don't regret taking h2 phy man!! it's like... damn impt!!!

So ytd, yy and I saw Sarah at mrt! like whaoo coincidence much! Jinghao also!! Majorr wow~~ Caught up a lil b4 parted ways den me and yy go had dinner at subway.. Met keith and azk!! Like whaoo againn hahaa... Met like in the middle of the road so parted ways quite quickly... den eating halfway kristal smsed! -.- Like omg her T&F thing... my fault sorryyyy :X:X But... nvm. Study at library was productive much loll~

Todayy became super political due to PW... dammitt even wanted to join politics in the future... maybe, maybe not LOL. See first hehz. But yeahh epicccc omg T.T

story of my life. hahaha if only u ppl know.

Oh and saw chelsea at KOI!! Stared at her awhile b4 realised it was her... just like that time at MP poolsport. xD Said hi and yea... awkward much hmmz...

She's as chio as ever lol wad to do...Oh wellz. (:

LOL.

and saw kally at tamp bus inter! after what..4-5 years? she changed quite alot lol. for the better (:

Oh and PI dilema... needa think of a new TC.. hais.

JC LIFE STRESS~~~ Lucky got epic days like these to keep me going :D

I WANNA PLAY STREET SOCCER!!!!! But no time hai.

oh and went gym today! woo first time. Scary much haha. But yeah. 2mro arms sure ache. But for pull-ups.. bring it!!

Since bad luck happens in threes, hope epic days too lol, for a better 2mro! (:

So anywayss!! Left with phy CA... and going through everything now, I realise physics is so darn difficult. Asked Mr wong for high calibre worksheets and i only know how to do like 1/4 of it. The rest all like alien language... omfg howww!? Phy impt siaa!! ><" Gna concentrate more on studies since A div' is over from now onn!! Econs realised still as easy! Wooo. Hopefully my essay did well though no time :/ Maths still requires practice.. Chemistry also... though easy cannot complacent! Easy = need more practice :( GP... like that uh.. Chinese... omfg t.t HAIII JC LIFE OMFGGG~~

Thank goodness next week 3 day week den the week before no mondayy!! WOoo!! Can't wait for hols, June hols! Actually just can't wait to have time for friends... awesome people hais. So many people i wanna catchup with!! ahhhh :( Don't wanna lose contact with them man... :/ 4F peeps, Sea men, soccer peeps and alotta great great no link but awesome friends arghhh!! Life sux :(

But also wanna mugg... like concentrate urghh contradicting much! Wonder how long before i go crazy hais. Nvm de guo qie guo! (:

Oh and scraped my knees.... now i really hurt my knees falling for you... who knew love was this tough, brutal, painful.... the agony.. :')

JOKING! lalala But awesome pickup line i can use now LOLOL. JkZ ;P

Went to this pakistan restaurant to eat, super full omg! Next time shall bring friends there xD

Near HWS! (:

Anyways CAs are around the corner! GP n maths over hais. GP quite confident but not maths :s

Hope I do well bah lol

Oh and i lost my wallet!! :( And someone found it back le LOL! :D:D

Shall collect 2mro hoping everything still inside :/:/

Yeah quick update bah i guess.... JC life srsly sucks, cuz no life T.T LOL

Shall TRY to make life for myself!! haha :D:D

Cause she's so damn good, just hearing her voice makes me smilee (: (: (:

Rotting the past 2 days omfg ><"

Was sick on friday so didnt go school....

Oh and happy birthday kristal! :D

Love the cards I make hoho.

Finished my 2nd PI draft last night. Hopefully can. :S

Yeap well life now for me has been hectic, emotional and way way busy. Still have loads to do on my agenda hais.

But priorities priorities.

Some of which I've give the chance to do first but was never presented the chance, so wth.

others perhaps, deserve less of my focus, but all have to come to be done in the end hais.

Hmmz. Oh well next i guess.

P/s: Ted talk is awesome man. Real mature talks. Ah likes. Sadly many people can't appreciate... elgin perhaps might xD

Never have I known a leader worse than you.

Right now I have zero, ZERO confidence to play on the field anymore, not because I'm intimidated or afraid of you and your words thus don't want to embarrass myself, but your constant drilling of negativity into my mind which causes me to quiver and break under pressure. Not only must I worry about the oncoming opponents ready to break my leg, I have to worry of where how when who to pass to, on top of that, every EVERY single time i get the ball, sometimes even before or i don't even get the ball. I can hear my surname ring through the air like a siren discouraging me and unnerving my confidence by a square root. Talk about me first aye, my control passing vision and what not, everything about soccer in me, GONE, because I trained under you for 2 months+, you don't build players, you destroy them. Never have I dreaded a match. Even at sec 1 i looked forward to playing against the sec 4. Now I can't even bother to play against the weakest team in our group. Really, please don't play me. Firstly I have no clue what to do on the field now. What you tell me to do, you reprimand me even though i do it. And if i improvise and do my own things, i get scolded. like wth. For 2 months i've put up with this. 2mro shall be the last day. Never before i misplace a pass let alone miss the ball so thanks. Now everytime i touch the ball or hit it. I sweat, not cuz of fatigue, but bcuz i worry, that i don't execute it well. More importantly, I am not having fun at all, and to me, that was what soccer was about. You've drained every last bit of joy i had in soccer and turned it to living hell. I've played soccer for 8-9 years already and manage to earn some reputation and credit with everyone I play with, and in 2 months, it all came crashing down. Usually i would take on a player face to face, man to man. 2 or 3 was not a problem. Now, as soon as i get the ball, i want it off of me immediately, I don't even want to receive the ball at times. SEE the drastic change. And all that i've said, is shared amongst the team members as i've discussed this with them. Seriously you suck and fail as a coach man. At times I just wanna say SHUT UP AND LET ME PLAY! Like how i do to many of my friends before, which produces results. But you're the one in charge of who goes to a div and have exco positions so as what my gp teacher told me, i have to learn to deal with people. I tried, real hard to, and next time you say that to me, i'm gna flip.

Why keep you're trust in me when I don't have trust in myself anymore.

So that's that. I still have loads of complaints, loads of resentment i've kept inside. for now. Fareez says im a whooss to not stand my case, and at times i shamefully agree, but i know it was because I respected you as I have to everyone since I was taught to do so, but dayum producing this results, I don't think you deserve shit of a respect from anyone, me included. So that's that.

After 2mro's match which i'm still dreading, I'm gna retire, retire from field football until an undetermined time. Going back to my roots of street soccer and build on from there. Whether i'm coming back to field i'm not sure, but surely with this team now, I highly doubt so. The people here, the friends i made, are awesome beyond words, but when it comes down to football, when it comes down to it, i feel that we're on a different wavelength. If i ever do go back to the field, I'll do it with KFC, where fun is compulsory. (: Let again, after what that fktard nordin has done for me in field soccer, I may not contribute as well, but hey gna hang up my boots for now and leave the field scene.

Lastly, expectations. Self expectations were let down, but i know the reason why so i'm not too bothered, i know i gave my best to try to adapt.

But maybe more importantly, expectations people have of me, friends especially soccer friends. Only they know what i'm capable of and i feel i've let them down. Thankfully I have great friends who said they're behind me no matter what, so thanks you guys, really kept me going. For now, let's just have fun, bcuz for 3 months now, 3 months of street hiatus, I miss it, for soccer = my life (: WOO

P/s: Hey, i just need a coach who believes in me, us. And thankfully, I've surrounded myself with friends who do, thanks guys (:

4th game lost to HCI 2-1

Received and had to take alot of brainless criticism for the vjc match from some people who didn't even watch. I mean stfu you people who don't know nuts about football. Tbh VJC is good, damn good. And it was my honour to play against them and have a taste of what real field football was about. So thanks man vjc! For going all out and not holding anything back, respect. Seriously no sarcasm intended here. Sad to say however those childish immature people i know had to comment without using their brains on the result. Hais shall not got there, why bother stooping down to their standard and argue with them hais.

Hmm gameplay was ok i guess... attacked quite well until we conceded... Manage to pull 5-6 fouls for the team but ended fruitless due to some midfielder fault.... -.-

Oh and koodos goalkeeper! 5 shots on target, 5 goals. wow. Sarcasm here intended. hais.

Wasn't feeling well the day of hci's match.. Had cought fever and flu. Told coach le but somehow he still played me. wow. In my opinion played like shit. SHIT SHIT SHIT. horrible. Missed 2 clearance, completely missed those 2 balls like omfg. OMFG. I MISSED A BALL, TWICE. Unacceptable... but it was super blur coupled with the hot hot sun, which i have sunburn from now, was seeing like double vision. x.x Manage to set a good cross and shot on target though. Right after i ran over the line hahaa. But still played like shit. Couldn't wait to be subbed off somehow, sinfully hais. But i know Zul would come on, and at least that's a + point! But he didn't as well. so, fml. Was super demoralised and feel like shitt.... right up to now. NOW. hais. 2mro NUS high, easiest game of the group. But my mentality now is the worst outta all 5 matches. I freaking don't wanna play. FUCK NORDIN -.-

Awesome song, sweet voice and singaporean! Need i say more?

Lost to ACS (I) 2-0..

First 2 goals were seriously atrocious. Defensive errors + goalkeeping errors consecutively lead to both hais. On the bench was freaking :@:@:@ Though could do nothing much about it..

until second half when he finally played me. Evened the gameplay i guess...we could attack more from then on. Closest to a goal is when i exchange a serious of passes with ling and made the run to his pass. At the last second b4 i pulled the trigger, ball slowed so i had to hold back half a sec b4 taking the shot and that half a second defender came to block. fmls :/ Closer and closer man i need my breakthrough!! ><"

Ok so according to nordin, though i played only 1 half, criticised me like hell nonetheless. Esp. that shot which i mentioned, seriously I feel i made the right call despite his repeated remarks i did the wrong move.. -.- If i had taken it without waiting, it'll never reach the goalpost at all due to the angle the ball was moving, so bite me. -.- Just regretted not cutting in and taking the shot.. then again was never ever freaking trained to do so in my 1 and a half month training so yea. Will get to that soon. And another 1 is the foul i apparently commited while challenging for the ball. Ok I've tried my best to win headers and won most of them throughout the game despite my height disadvantage by comparison, that was just 1 bad jump to win the ball which led to the free kick but not a goal right? unnecessary pressure u say. Well fuck u, that's just once which ended in a poorly taken free kick. How about the countless loss of the ball by everyone else by simply passing it to the opponent. Of all of these no, u had to pick on me, the one who tried to follow what u say and win the headers as u said, but although u have not taught us how to do it right, i guess i had to improvise right -.- So FK U when i improvise wrongly on sth u didnt taught but wth u trained us passing and they did shit passing why didnt u go hard on them fkit. Seriously nordin freakin hates me -.- So much for capt/vice capt. Really wanted to do my best at field soccer but constantly being put down -.-

Anyways! match rant over, stupid blunders for both AC games i tell u if not we would've been still in it. Futhermore formation and tactic errors in my opinion by fkup coach, not really surprised of the outcome. Next up vjc. Fml.

But seriously wth sia. Whatever we've trained in the 1 1/2 months, none was applied/applicable -.- Wth stupid coach. Passing was basically the idea for training. Through the games, our most potent attack was from the gk's long kick which was not very long. -.- Wad passing was there, zero. and it was ME who said we had less than 4 consecutive passes not ling so fkoff on credits -.- Anyways yea, w/o passing in the midfield where can there be attack -.- Even though there was an attempt of passing at the start, it was what led to to goal by them -.- Like fml wth. Can tell after i got on once any1 got the ball and wanted to pass/receive, everyone looked so nervous and shaky. wth. I blame the coach for constantly degrading our confidence on the ball and basically through and through. I know what i'm talking about ok, ever since i played for tpjc, my soccer skills/control/touches/passes all significantly deproved. Like wth man after all i've trained on the streets, just my luck to meet a fkup person like you to screw them up -.-. Ur tactics and trainings sucks seriously. Attack and defence is like wth. Ok it trains our passing and space awareness but stop the ball over the line? That's why I can't take a proper shot on goal, i never practised, not once, so what am i to do? Improvise as always. Sometimes seriously i wonder why do i need u, what do u actually train me which is useful. Furthermore, passing and open up never happened in the match. I mean seriously i get the ball, no1's moving or they're moving towards me with opposition stalking them waiting to pounce, that's why i lost the ball which u came down heavily on me for. Fkit man RUN INTO SPACE PPL! That's what i did and passed which led to the buildup of the shot with ling. ARGH. Even in street ppl move into space more -.- Seriously miss those ppl i play with man. On a hiatus from street since mid-jan and look what i've become -.- Seriously pointless coaching i rather coach myself. Maybe it's suppose to be in built in me aye, all those i mentioned, in built in us, set piece finishing and what not. How mark tackle follow ur man play what position etc. Sarcastic as it may sound but u fail as a coach so don't blame us, you led to this despite the lack of discipline. Now we're left with a unprepared, unorganised and demoralised squad. Thanks a lot einstein -.- Seriously VJC HCI NUS you guys are lucky. -.-

Seeing other coaches really makes my blood boil as well, bcuz all of them are exactly the opposite of our coach, hey at least they encourages their team, motivate and push them on instead of constantly insult them. GOsh u suck as a coach man seriously -.-

ANYWAYS enough of the ranting and spilling of bad blood, just wanna say, after A div' shall take a hiatus from field soccer and go back to street soccer to find myself once again. Lost the passion for soccer under the guidance of an incapable, incorrigible and utterly ridiculous coach. Honestly -.- My whole perception of soccer is now so different hais. Needa change it back to what it was and train UP from there by MYSELF again. Sheesh fk this coach -.- Shall go back to play with the usuals and train up everything again, the basics. Got a feeling i'll be a dead weight but hey! i took the risk and it didn't pay off. Oh well better luck next year. (:

For now everything as is second, studies and everything, shall concentrate on the last 3 games b4 settling down and attending to other matters. Tired 24/7, i wanna sleep now x.x NIGHTS.

It's been awhile since a blogged, 3 months? and loads have happened.